I last posted here on May 12th. And, then something happened: I lost the will to share. Share what? Well, almost anything. I have looked carefully at why I started to feel this way, and, what I have surmised is that I just got tired of being the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike. The general tenor and tone of what I was sharing was most frequently negative and contained a lot of finger wagging.
Of course, when I look around our society, I can see all the same prompts that made me feel that way. Nothing has changed.....except for one thing. I now feel a modicum of detachment around all the things that previously I found so dire and disconcerting. That is a sideways means of saying, "I don't care anymore."
Sheesh, that's pretty callous, eh. Not really. What I am finding in this new-found state of neutrality and reduced outrage is that a much clearer perspective is available. What I mean by that is that, having pulled back to a longer and wider view of it all, I can now see with much greater clarity the causes behind it.....and the ultimate inevitability of it all.
Here we are, floating through space on this infinitesimally tiny blue-green speck. Scientists know that there are BILLIONS of galaxies, and we inhabit a microscopically insignificant dust-mote in a relatively minor galaxy. Of course, we seem unable to regard ourselves as insignificant, far from it. We crow about being the "most intelligent" species of the myriad with which we share the planet. We are terribly concerned with how to go about self-aggrandizing and promoting ourselves, both individually and collectively. We even send messages into deep space, "Hey! We're the Human Beings, planet Earth, Milky Way. Give us a shout!" Aside: one pundit pointed out recently that we might want to re-consider doing this because any aliens who would be able to respond are very likely much more advanced and might just head on over here to see what we have that they want. Uh-oh.
So, we are sitting here, just brimming with our own self-importance, doing our damndest to both exploit and to destroy our host planet. And, when we finally succeed, do you really think the entire rest of the Universe will even notice?
Our fate is in our own hands, and we seem so utterly unaware, much less unimpressed, by that fact, that we spend our time--this fall for instance--debating how to dig, drill, blast, or otherwise access more carbon rich energy sources to maintain our lifestyle......knowing--here's the kicker--all the while that it is exactly that approach that is preparing the way for the Sixth Great Extinction, i.e. OUR OWN.
So, I once again, harkening all the way back to my footloose days as a wandering hippy, have begun to identify with the archetype of the Fool. In fact, my fool is the one sitting on the hill and watching the world spin around.
We are going to do exactly what we WANT to do, not what our massive intellects tell us is the sensible or correct or proper thing to do. It has always been that way, throughout human history. We look, we see, we want....and we take. We have never backed away from any self-created disaster, most notably wars, of course. And the fact that we are being more than adequately warned of the ultimate consequences of our present course of action....will not dissuade us from following it to its inevitable conclusion. And, when we succeed in achieving the forewarned systemic failure to thrive....we will wail and gnash our teeth like a two year-old being denied access to a big bowl of chocolate pudding. Our final act will be to throw a humongous HISSY.
And, then the theater will go dark....and the beings in the audience will shrug and say rude things about how stupid those humans were as they shuffle out.
And, here's the final realization that gives me some inner peace: In the greater scheme of things....it doesn't and it won't matter at all. We are the only ones to whom it will matter, and because we are insistent on choosing this pathway.....we have no one to blame but us.
So, carry on Humans. Do what you feel so sure you need to do. Apparently about half of you are ready to leave the planet anyway. Big surprise, eh, if you don't get that painless and easy way out of being raptured up to Heaven. I'll be seriously gob-smacked IF YOU DO.
For me, it's a new day. I am just going to stop worrying that our brilliant species is going to act exactly as it always has. Some things you can just count on. And, my intent is to spend whatever time I have left here to MAKE ART. Who knows? Without a guarantee of being Hoovered, I could be here awhile. I still get a grand feeling from the natural world. Beauty is still rampant in the places where we have managed to keep our greedy little hands off of it. Beauty is, and has been for decades, the greatest reward in my life. In it's essence I sense the key to the Great Mystery, and I will derive great satisfaction and pleasure from continuing to explore its countless manifestations.
I feel a bit like the band on the Titanic. But, ya know what? I don't really mind feeling that way.
It's all just okay.